I have been a bit quiet for a while, and I will tell you why.
I am knackered.
Of course I knew when I had a baby that I would be waking in the night to feed and comfort my child, and I do so gladly. As a newborn I enjoyed the long nights spent nursing him and holding him as he drifted in and out of sleep. They were very precious moments and it was a lovely way to bond with my new baby. As he started to get older, my friends would be telling me about their babies who had started to sleep through the night. Now, I know not all babies sleep through the night, but this is hard to hear when your baby has started to wake about 8 times a night, and sometimes more. For some reason, as he got older, his sleep got worse. He started to wake more frequently and not want to settle back to sleep. People would say to me it will get better. They’d say “when he gets bigger he will be able to go longer throughout the night or “as he develops he will be able to settle himself”.
I have driven myself crazy reading about sleep and wondering where I am going wrong or if there is anything I can do to help him sleep longer. I don’t expect him to sleep through the night, but sometimes he has woken every hour and I can’t help but wonder why. It has made me do crazy things, like if he has slept better one night, I have decided it was because of the particular babygrow he was wearing, so made sure it was washed and ready again for the next night. (Of course, this is madness, and did not work!) I have tried swaddling, not swaddling, sleeping bags, blankets, comforters, co-sleeping. I have read so many forums and articles about sleep training, although nothing I read sat well with me so I have not implemented any of them. I have been given so much varying advice and finally reached a conclusion.
Ted isn’t a good sleeper. That’s it.
He is a good weight, he is now 4 months old and he still wakes frequently – and that’s just how it is. Some nights are good and some are bad, and I just have to go with it. If he wakes up I will comfort him, because that is what he needs. I am not “making a rod for my own back”, I am meeting the emotional needs of my son. I will not leave him to cry, I want him to always feel safe and know that I will come to him. I believe this is the best thing to do for him.
So if I’ve not replied to a text or if I turn up to meet you 20 minutes late looking a mess, I am really sorry – just a bit tired at the moment 🙂