Preparing Ted for a Sibling

Since the start of my pregnancy we have tried to include Ted on the journey as much as we can, in hope that he has some kind of understanding about what is happening. At only 18 months old it is hard to tell how much he is able to take in and process, but we have given it our best shot. He will understand soon enough when there is a small, noisy human attached to his mummy a lot of the time but I really hope it isn’t too traumatic for him when the time comes.

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Our Pregnancy Announcement – Ted at 11 months old! 

We decided for Ted’s birthday to buy him a doll to try to teach him to be gentle and wanted to make this toy ‘special’ compared to others that often get thrown or dropped during play. This was more difficult that we had thought, as one day to our horror we found baby face down behind the fire guard…. Ted was too young to comprehend but needless to say we will not be leaving him unattended with the baby at any point!

I also wanted him to get used to me holding a baby, so sometimes I would just sit on the sofa cradling the dolly. (You know, like a mad woman…) Often he would be intrigued and come and sit with me too. As he has got older he will say “ahhhh” and stroke the doll on the head. It is pretty sweet.

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We also have been reading a booked called Waiting for Baby which has some lovely illustrations of a pregnant Mummy preparing for a new baby. Ted quite enjoys this story which is a series of questions – definitely aimed at an older child to help them start imagining life with a baby in the house.

We have lots of baby things set up around the house and we talk to Ted about what it is and who it is for. We have the newborn car seat already in the car and tell him it is for his baby Brother. We also have the crib set up in our bedroom and talk about how his new baby Brother will be sleeping in there when he comes. Again, who knows what he is taking in from these little exchanges, but I hope that by seeing the seat and the crib it is giving him some sense that something will be happening soon, something different.

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He has come to most of my midwife appointments with me and seen that there is a reason for somebody to want to look at my belly. On the way there I explain we are going to see how his baby Brother is going. My favourite thing to do is just chat with him when we are cuddled up with my big bump in between us. I ask him “what’s in mummy’s tummy?” and he says “baby” or “brother” and gives it a rub.

How did you prepare your toddler or child for a new baby joining the family? I’d love to hear in the comments below! Xx

0 thoughts on “Preparing Ted for a Sibling

  1. I can’t believe how fast this whole thing has gone! That picture of Ted feels like years ago! I think he’s going to be brilliant because you & Tom will teach him how to be … Now, all to do is to get this baby out of you!

  2. I don’t think you need to worry! I think the age gap is perfect for this reason! Iris understands that the baby in our house is the same baby that was in my tummy, and that we must be very gentle with her. She’s shown no jealousy at all, and I can’t help but think she might have if she was much older. Instead she just mimics us, and is constantly stroking and kissing. She’s incredibly gentle! I’m very aware of what I’m saying though, and trying not to tell Iris to leave the baby or get off while I’m feeding her. You’ll all be fine, and Ted is going to be make an awesome big brother! I can’t wait to see your pictures of them together. xx

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